Honeysuckle knees
I was adopted by bees
And they teach me things my parents never could
They buzz in my ear
In a hive near my home
And whisper, like hurried angels
All I can see are yellow stripes when my mind thinks in black or white
Perspectives like old films
Crackled and colorless
But when I see through my heart
The world, a hint of green
I can see them
Their buzzing bodies
Their many motives
Their eyes, glinting like my grandmothers’ when she would trace my face with her acrylics as I drift to other dimensions
And like tonic water
And soda pop
I’ve build pressure under this skin shaped bottle
The bees sting me to relieve the pressure but they don’t get how it works entirely
(they're trying their best)
I sit patiently
Waiting for the world to show me something
The bees tell me I'll wait forever
Time ticks
And evening naps
And the dark blue back of an archangel lays on the sky for a quick snooze
Its freckles, scattered and shining
The north star, just a mole
This is what they call “night”
The queen braids my hair when I sleep
Puts flowers in my mouth
In hopes that I'll feel the world a bit more gently
A psychic told my mother that my aura is a rainbow though its stubborn
I don't learn until the world chokes me blue
So I waited for them
to crack me open and ease me of air held hostage
And I wait and I wait
(I don’t believe my hands will do the job)
I only hear the hiss ease itself away when I bend down and touch my toes
When I dance like an idiot
When I have food on the corner of my mouth
So now
I unset myself
like a dinner table that I initially prepared for full stomachs as I wait at the end
famished and shameful
Never wanting to take the bread first
Never wanting to cross hands
Never wanting to be seen as a wanter
A taker
But a seeker
And I wait there
For months and years
The candles become wicks
Food rots and molds and caves in on itself
And I guess fruit flies are now the guests I’ve waited so patiently for
I watch them as they indulge
the bees look worried
Here it occurs to me
What I want is mine to take
The ease is my homework
My duty
To god-like things
Inside and all over
So I stretch out and my bones crack
And I hissssssssss open
Crack the plates and my limbs in ceremony
(My hands will do, I know that now)
The gap of air dissipates into the world
And it’s all just air now
I am with it
The breeze
The wind
The draft above the dinner table
And I reach out
Like wind does
I grab the bread
And dress myself in crumbs